Confident . . . well im getting there

                 Anyone and everyone that knows me knows im pretty down on myself.Im trying to be better at confidence,but with everything i've went through (being took advantage of and called ugly) I don't see a reason to be.I will be though,i've relized life is so short and everyone was made the way they were meant to be.So I will feel beautiful no matter what anyone says.I will stand tall,and never feel small.For everyone who has ever called me beautiful thank you.I will focuse on what you say not what they say.I will let myself shine rather than dull myself by the fear to be rejected.I will help others build there self confidence too.If you read this trust me your an amazing person.Don't let anyone take that away from you.We are all beautiful believe that,and let it show that you believe it.

Blabb. . .

            Ok,so recently I took up to this blogging thing and I actually like it thanks to my friend Ashley (thanks chick) :) .
             Im going to begin with today.It began to a crying baby as normal.I fed him,burped him,and he spit up all over me from my chin down to my belly button.That meant bath time for us.Then we came to the kitchen to watch t.v. (my computer wasn't working at the time).I put on my make up and straightened my hair as normal.My grandma woke up so we had to go to Tompkinsville.This is when the funny stuff happened.First we dropped off our prescriptions mine for birth control whoopi not haha.Anyway we went over to wal-mart and as we went in there was this old man.He looked at Bryson (my baby),then at me,next at my grandma.Then he asked, "Is that your grandson." she said, "No thats my great grandson." We walked away,but he keeped looking at her.We got in the checkout line,and he came to call me over,and then the shock of my life.He asked me if my grandma was married! I was like yeah.Then,I didn't mean to,really I didn't,I just busted out laughing right in front of the old dude.Poor old dude I felt bad.Well,after that we laughed along time.We picked up my birth control and whatever she got,and headed for home.When we got there my mom still wasn't home.When she got home she had KFC!Then to top that off that chick hands me $63!She must of been messed up,just kidding,shes just awesome.Anyway awesome day.
      Mostly im excited about the weekend tomarrow im going to hang down town.Then sunday its off to Rach's for a day off play,then its back to boring home for boring stuff.Anyway I think thats about all that happened today.

Me against the world

                Everybody on this planet has an opinion.Thoughts of what should be,shouldn't be,and what should have never been.Me I think internet is the bomb,sometimes people you love are going hurt you,and alchohol should have never been invented.Thats just me.You may think internets the devil,you can never be hurt,and alchohol is your sweet escape.This is a point of view only you can have its yours.
                 I want to begin with the biggest thing i think should have never been.Abortion.My opinion of it is that if you don't want to spend your time its probably best not to do the crime.Even if you don't want the baby theres better alternatives.I'd gladly take a thousand babies in as to let somebody take there lives before they get to even experience it.People don't even consider it murder.I do I consider it murder because that babies heart beats just as ours does.What has our world came to?When we can kill innocent babies,and still sleep at night.Im sixteen and have more sense than so many adults out there.
                The first thing im glad to have is makeup its one of those things that some people don't like,or don't believe in.I think it builds self confidence in ones self,and makes them feel more beautiful.I haven't got much to say about this just one of the opinions I thought about.
                 I think thats all im going to type on the subject.I couldn't think of anything else.
               
                

GRRRR! . . . . Fear.

          Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!Why did I take that nap at 5:30?Now im going to be up all night,so im simple going to write.
          All I can think about at night time is fear daytime is the only time im safe from thought when other people are with me.I dont tell people this,so maybe writing it will help.Fear is like a shiver in your body that starts from your feet to your toes because you know it will eventually happen,but you cant make the thoughts go away.You beg,but still it remains there.The only escape is sleep,or the day.I cry at night from fear,but I know im only letting it swallow me whole.I cant help it.Writing could be my newest escape if i keep on maybe it will make it feel slightly better.
           I guess i should explain what my fears are.Well,it actually started when I went to stay the night with a friend.We watched a scary movie that was based on a true story.Of course,my brain ever so dumb as people think it is,actually thinks alot more than they know.I started to think that night about death,and from there on it got worse.People I knew,family that I never got to know,and never will now,began to pass on.Nobody knew,I never told them I was this afraid.I tell myself your so young,why do you worry about this?,or its going to happen rather you like it or not,so get over it.Im just not sure I can deal with it when it happens.I'll probably throw up,or something.Anyway,its just was we born to endlessly think about the future,I don't believe we are supposed to.I think we are supposed to come to terms with it,but im still trying to.
         I think I have wrote enough.I will probably come back later and write more.For now,bye.