GRRRR! . . . . Fear.

          Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!Why did I take that nap at 5:30?Now im going to be up all night,so im simple going to write.
          All I can think about at night time is fear daytime is the only time im safe from thought when other people are with me.I dont tell people this,so maybe writing it will help.Fear is like a shiver in your body that starts from your feet to your toes because you know it will eventually happen,but you cant make the thoughts go away.You beg,but still it remains there.The only escape is sleep,or the day.I cry at night from fear,but I know im only letting it swallow me whole.I cant help it.Writing could be my newest escape if i keep on maybe it will make it feel slightly better.
           I guess i should explain what my fears are.Well,it actually started when I went to stay the night with a friend.We watched a scary movie that was based on a true story.Of course,my brain ever so dumb as people think it is,actually thinks alot more than they know.I started to think that night about death,and from there on it got worse.People I knew,family that I never got to know,and never will now,began to pass on.Nobody knew,I never told them I was this afraid.I tell myself your so young,why do you worry about this?,or its going to happen rather you like it or not,so get over it.Im just not sure I can deal with it when it happens.I'll probably throw up,or something.Anyway,its just was we born to endlessly think about the future,I don't believe we are supposed to.I think we are supposed to come to terms with it,but im still trying to.
         I think I have wrote enough.I will probably come back later and write more.For now,bye.